Saturday, April 25, 2015

What Makes Me Grumpy

I have a cold: 
a hard to breathe, 
throat aching, 
ear plugging,
 eye watering,
 headache of a cold. 
The worst part of all was the two days last week that I had no voice. Catastrophe of catastrophes! I can survive not talking, but not being able to sing is unbearable. My life at home is a musical, kind of. I'm always humming or singing to myself but without a voice the world becomes silent. 

I hate silence. I want: words - voices - music - answers -

To be honest, it surprised me how grumpy a cold could make me. When the cold was not going away, I decided that God was trying to teach me something. But I just found silence: frustrating, irregular, steady silence.

When I get sick... I don't like to rest. I want to go and do everything and imagine I feel fine but with this cold after a week of suffering I decided to chill out a little and I read two books. They were just old fashioned lovely long novels, but they made me happy and reminded me how wonderful books are all over again. Books make me so happy. 
They just do.

Right now, I have moved on to a more modern book. I am also working quite faithfully on my novel, or as faithfully as possible with school. I am almost done with the first step of editing which is so exciting. This is going to sound stuck up, but I love my book. Since I wrote it in a month, I did not have time to bond with it like I do all my other novels, but now I'm in love with it. 
Ok, enough of my quirky author talk.

And then it was in a dark hour on my bed one night this week when my cold {horrid rascal} was keeping me up that I got my answer.

I was thinking back to an earlier talk I had with a friend who has tons of medical problems. We were talking lightly about the future and our silly plans and my friend goes, 

I really want kids, but I don't want them to go through what I do.

In only those few words everything came together in my mind. What do I say to that? Here I am complaining about a cold when so many people have way worse issues. So when I am asking God why this cold won't leave, that was His answer. 

~STOP complaining about your miniscule troubles, when so many others have real ones~

What I do with my chemistry book when I should be reading

If only I could step out of my little showers and see other peoples storms. I have it super easy, but even after thinking this I continue to walk downstairs groggily and snap at my siblings and hate the world just because I missed an hour of sleep from coughing. 
So I am learning and that is all I can say today,
but maybe someday I can say more. 



  1. Oh Maddie, I can relate so much to your cold. :( Are you feeling any better?

    And yes, I did that thing with the pages of my science books ALL the time. Sometimes I accidentally closed the book while the pages were curled like that, and to this day, you can find random pages that have mysterious crease marks right down the middle...

    1. Yikes. I almost accidentally deleted your comment. I am feeling way better. If I could just get past the sniffles and the cough.
      Haha! Yes

  2. So sweet! I sneeze SO MUCH during spring! I sneeze at LEAST 34 times a day! (Okay maybe not that much)
    But you get my point! :)

    1. Thank you. Yep. Sneezing is no fun. I'll pray for you! <3