Where Are the Answers?

When you pray, ever feel like you're talking to no one? Slapping the air with each syllable? Bringing your deepest fears and dreams to an empty void? Sometimes I feel that way, yet other times I know God's listening but...

where are the answers?

I know that He brings hard stuff into our world  to build us up and bring us closer to Him, but sometimes I pray for help over and over and...

where are the answers?

On one of those nights, when anger was twisting a knot in my heart and I had to make a choice but I didn't know what to do, I prayed.

{I love to curl up on my bed at night under the moon light and bring my sorrows to my creator}

But that night it felt like I was just tumbling over my problems and getting no where. Desperate, I flipped through my bible and randomly landed on a page

One glance at the title of the chapter and my heart sank. It was a section of scripture that had nothing to do with what I was dealing with, nothing at all. 

sparks of anger ~ frustration ~ disappointment.   

But grudgingly I read those verses...

I ate them up like, my soul hungry.They had nothing to do with what I was dealing with. It didn't matter. Those beautiful verses stared at me.

I saw it then. 

I saw it there on the page,

my answer.

But the last verse of that section was the most incredible. It told me:

God always listens to the  prayers of His children,

Of course that is just one story out of so many...but my point is simply to remind you that your prayers are real. You are actually talking to the Creator of the Universe and He hears you. I'm reminding myself.

 Just 2 Questions:

Do you pray to hear God's voice or to hear yours?

When you go to pray are you seeking answers or are you seeking God?

We have a world of voices shouting that we are praying to nothing. They say our hope is a lie. In the future we must take a stand and decide, is prayer real?

storyteller<3

Traveler part one

Is the world so big, or am I just so tiny?

 

What's a Christian girl, anyways?

So... shout out from this stranger! I've been busy. I have a lot of excuses I could use for not blogging lately buuuuuuut I think the biggest reason is: I haven't felt like it. I can't write good post without feeling like it, I'm not that talented. The words spill out when they are ready. 

In case you didn't know...

I'm a   C h r i s t i a n  girl. 

What's a Christian girl? Does a Christian girl have to dress modest? Listen to Christian music? Read Christian books? Talk Christian? Get a Christian education? 

-i could go on-

I think for a lot of us a Christian girl means all of that. We're a clan...a group of girls who are good, encouraging, nice. Jesus lovers. That's what a Christian girl means right? A nice girl who shines like Jesus. 

When I was younger, I felt like I always had to prove myself...somehow prove I was a Christian. I posted verses and little 'Christian phrases' all the time online. Just like some people smoke or swear to be cool, I posted God girl posts online to be cool around my Christian friends. There was nothing wrong with the posts, just something wrong with my heart. 

I'm a Christian girl... but that doesn't mean I always have the right words or I'm perfect. I guess if in the inside you really love Christ, and trust Him, and have faith in Him, some of that is going to seep  out in your actions. You don't have to prove your a Christian, you either are one or you're not.

Sooo... incase you feel like you've got to keep some holy reputation. Incase you feel like you have to be enough. Let's just think back to what that Christian girl really is. 

Christian girl: someone who's not enough but believes in Someone who is, who is more than enough

<3 storyteller

Four Years Ago...

The air breaths salt. The shells sleep along the shore, s C a T t e R d  pieces, broken, a graveyard across the bed of sand. Waves try to reach the sky, then fall, crash to a bubbly death. (had to be dramatic)

The beach healed me. 

I guess I was kind of stressing out and worried about this year and then I left my world for a little while and found this beautiful place. 

Slowly all my promblems didn't seem so big, not next to this and the Creator who made it. 

T h r o u g h b a c k 

Four years ago... my life changed. 

It was a tiny  change. 

A tiny change that transformed my entire galaxy.

My world before four years ago is kinda a hazy dream, half fantasy, half real. 

It's kinda pitiful when I look to the future and am scared because I should know by now that if God could be with me for those last four years, he'll be with me in the future. He will. 

And all my petty dreams are scattered broken across the seashore like shells because God has a better plan.

But four years ago His plan didn't look better... it was.

So things change and we start getting a tiny glimpse of the beginning of our story and we smile because its so totally outside our wildest imaginations. Dreams are fictional and sometimes nicer but not prettier, never prettier than God's plan. 

Four years ago...

Memory: me walking on a beach only a couple miles from this one. Me before the change. Me when the change was just an echo. Me missing my home. Me writing a letter each day to my best friend. Me buying sea shell earrings for her.

Funny how different my world is today... and how I didn't know any of it that time four years ago before the change.

 So I left the beach this year after an exciting week with friends, a half written sea story, a handful of shells and a heart refocused on His will...

<3 storyteller

Little Doggies

// PUPPPY //

On one of those beautiful days, the kind of days that you're just happy to be alive, I tripped upon a fact about myself that I'd never tripped upon before.

{The Fact About Myself} All it takes to make me happy is something small 

I love, simply love, little pleasures. Books. Chocolate. Puppies. Fun small things mean the world to me. 

A tiny fury face can make me the happiest person in the world.  I hope they bring some beauty into your world just like these cuties brought beauty into to mine.

<3 storyteller

Bird

~ soooo I got a camera...not a fancy camera but nicer than an iPhone and better than my old broken camera so I'm thrilled. This is the first time I've been able to photograph birds because it's the first camera that has nice enough zoom~

So there are my birds. More pictures coming soon! 

<3 storyteller

<<< au revoir brother >>>

Us girls are sprawled in the back of the car with books to take us to different worlds. I disappeared into 200 pages of mine, hours dragging by. We make it to the college campus, an interesting place for a writer. All around there are nervous looking teens and teary eyed moms and I keep putting myself in their shoes, trying to imagine what it might be like. That was enough to interest me through the long lines and traffic, that and my book. 

Then, we have to say goodbye.

He's nervous, but he'll be fine. 

So at last we leave and wave even though we can't see him. 

That's when the tears come. I never cry around people and I have a book to distract me, so my eyes 

 are dry, but others cry. 

We stop for ice cream. It's some of the best ice cream I've ever had, but somehow it's sweet creaminess can't soften our moods, so we climb back into the car and let more miles and miles separate us from our brother. 

It's a first, and firsts are terrifying, so were all holding our breath and hoping everything will turn out ok. It will. God is here. 

Then the sky falls and every crystal of light is smothered behind the horizon. 

We make it home and argue about who should take the pup out. It was our brother's job. 

Letting brother go to college isn't sad because I will miss him. 

I will, 

s o m e t i m e s , 

but the sadness is more complex.

It's the pain of stepping back and being left behind. That's what hurts. It's the pain of looking forward at two more years of high school without all those friends who left for college, without my brother, without a boy in the house. That hurts. 

But, on a brighter note, I have plenty of goals to keep me busy. My junior year will be different, very different. That's ok. God is here. 

So there is an update.

< < < Latest news: Our family is growing up > > > 

<3 storyteller